Lucky to believe and a tribute to my Grandmother

Today is three months since Alice grew her little wings, and I honestly feel like a weight has been lifted off me in the last few days. Over the past few months I have been going for all sorts of therapies from a sound bath, to reiki, to amatsu, to acupuncture, to mindfulness, to tarot cards and energy healing. We have been going for really long beautiful walks near where we live which is making us appreciate what we have even more. I feel it has all had an impact in helping me lift the grief I've been carrying.

I feel very lucky to have something to believe in. One of my new friends from the SANDS charity asked me am I religious? My first response was No. I would say I am Spiritual, however I do find comfort in churches and some catholic prayers. I also find comfort in believing in Angels and past and future lives. I know that I am lucky to have faith as I have a clear place for Alice, where I believe her to be, what her little mission on earth was and how she will help us from heaven.

My grandmother Frances Thornton passed away last week on the 16th of February and she gave us all such a precious gift. She faced death with such dignity, peace, calm, acceptance and love. She was so ready to go and her love and dignity really has made us all accept her death with the same energy. She passed away very peacefully with my mum and two aunts by her side. Her funeral was beautiful and there was probably between 800-1000 people who attended services over the course of two days. Although it was sad because we can't talk to her any more, it was a beautiful celebration of her remarkable life. She was the kindest, happiest, most generous person I've ever known. She didn't judge anyone, had a wealth of forgiveness for everyone, and was so thoughtful.  That is why we gave Alice Frances as a middle name. I know that the two of them are in heaven now together, along with many other family and friends. I'm glad Alice has such a wonderful lady to look out for her.

I absolutely feel that all of my beliefs have helped me through the last three months and help me deal with my grandmothers death. I have faith to keep strong and to look towards the future with positivity and not fear. Yes I may have a slip up every now and again but on the whole I know I am on the right path. 

Raising money for Rockinghorse

Rockinghorse is the main charitable organisation that provide extra support to the Trevor Mann Baby Unit and the Alexandra children's hospital in Brighton.

When organising the celebration of Alice's life we decided to not have flowers and encouraged donation to Rockinghorse instead. We set up a Just Giving page on the Thursday, when we announced details of the ceremony, and by the following Saturday we had raised £3,000. Unbelievably the donations have kept coming and we are currently at £6,919, which is just so incredible to us. The generosity of family, friends and complete strangers all over the world is going to make such a huge difference to so many precious babies. 

We recently met with two lovely ladies from the Rockinghorse charity. They explained that the NHS provide a basic level of equipment to Brighton hospital. However they only fund what they see as life saving, or a necessity. This is why the money raised through the Rockinghorse is used to provide very crucial equipment or services that is not deemed 'life saving' but is as critical to the care of the children in the hospital. Key members of staff sit on the charity board and they meet regularly to discuss what projects will be funded and the progress of those projects. It is important to know that all projects are conceived of and implemented by the key members of the hospital team. That means that every project is truly needed. 

We have decided to use the money to fund a very needed Retcam digital imaging camera for the Trevor Mann Baby Unit. This will be used to help diagnose Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP), a eye condition which can cause blindness in premature babies. This can be used by the nurses on a daily basis once an issue is diagnosed the baby can be given laser eye surgery which has a 98% success rate of normal eye sight. The £7,000 we have helped raise is being used to top up the fund meaning Rockinghorse have now reached their goal and the machine is on order. 

So, thank you so much to everyone who donated to this amazing charity. Everyone is so grateful to your generosity and it really will make a great difference to the little premature babies and their families in the future.